After Holden
by lvsvu727
Summary: Quick One-shot I just wrote. It's just a quick Rollaro after tonights episode Holden's Manifesto so *spoilers* lol Haven't wrote in a while. I should be sleeping cause I got work and school tomorrow but I had to write it. It's not the best...some of you Rollaro writers can probably come up with some thing better but I did it quick and sleepy so Enjoy


Nick Amaro could not believe what had just happened with Holden March. He watched the woman he loved push him away. All he wanted to do was to hold her, to kiss her and comfort her. At this point he didn't care who saw them, but she didn't she pushed him away and shut him out and it killed him.

"Why didn't you stop them?" her words resounded in his head. Why didn't he stopped them? How could he have stopped them? There was no way. The kid was a psycho but for some odd reason Amanda connected with him if only for a brief moment.

That's when thoughts came rushing to his head. Did Amanda really mean what she said, he couldn't help but feel hurt by her words. He tried to brush the thoughts away but they gnawed at him all through his debriefing.

"Nick?" he heard a distant voice "Nick" it grew louder

"yeah" he finally responded

"what did Holden say to you?" Olivia asked

Nick came back to reality. "uh, do we have to do this right now?"

"uh, I mean you know this new chief wants it now"

"I can't do this" he stood up frustrated. He knew that if he told her what Holden had said about Amanda and him Olivia would see right through him. He was not up to that at the moment.

"Ok I'll think of something, but first thing tomorrow morning"

"got it" he answered "uh by the way where did Amanda go, I haven't seen her since the school?"

"she's fine Nick, Fin took her home" Olivia gave him a knowing smile.

* * *

><p>It seemed like an eternity before he finally got the courage to knock on her apartment door. She opened it.<p>

Her hair was damped most likely from taking a shower to clean up all the blood and she had a plain white tee on with pajama shorts. She opened the door wider to let him in.

He had been here many times before specially in the recent months, why did all of a sudden did it feel strange to him.

"Can I come in?" he asked almost incoherently. Well that was stupid he thought she already opened the door to let me in.

She walked to the couch and sat in front of the T.V. looking intensely at it as if it was of great interest to her.

He followed her and sat beside her.

"Amanda….." he begun, but before he could finish her lips were upon him. He had to admit it felt good but he knew that it wasn't the answer. This was how Amanda tried to solve things, it might make them feel good for a moment but it was not the answer.

He gently pushed her off. "Amanda this is not the answer" she stared at him blankly.

"why are you here?" she asked

"why am I here?" he was shocked at her words "why do you think I'm here? A guy's head was blown off in front of you and you're asking why I'm here"

Amanda pulled further away from him.

"I'm here for you"

She got up and nervously walked away.

Nick followed

"Amanda look at me, don't do this, don't shut me out"

"what do you want me to say Nick, you want me to run to your arms and tell you you're my hero, that kid was right you're all the same, the big macho jock guys"

Nick felt instantly hurt. Maybe she did mean those things after all.

She saw the pain in his face that she caused by those words. She didn't mean them and down deep inside she knew that shot had to be taken and she couldn't blame Nick for it. That kid had gotten to her though, she knew what it was like to be the underdog.

"I'm sorry" she whispered "I didn't mean that"

"It's okay" he tried to give her a smile "I know"

"Nick I didn't mean anything I said to that Kid and anything he said it doesn't matter"

"you are not another notch on my belt" he said "you mean so much more than that" he had never told her how he really felt. "I thought I almost lost you today Amanda"

He got closer to her and placed his arm around her hip as he wiped a tear away from her face. "I couldn't breath, I couldn't think, all that was on my mind was you"

She looked into his dark chocolate eyes.

"You know what I realized today?"

"what?" she asked eagerly

"I realized that I'm madly in love with you Amanda Rollins"

He leaned in and kissed her soft lips realizing that everything he needed in this world was right here in his arms.

The End


End file.
